THE FUNNY PAGE
Marketing humor we’ve received via e-mail, fax, phone — and even in person!
Business was down in Shneider’s taylor shop in Brooklyn so he made God an offer.
I’ll make you a partner if you help me out, he prayed.
He hears a thundering voice say ”OK Shneider, include me in the name of your business and it’s a deal"
Shneider quickly changes the sign on his taylor shop to say "God & Shneider" and business takes off.
A few years and several new franchises later Shneider decides to branch out into the big city.
He opens a big store on Fifth Avenue in New York and calls it "God and Shneider." It flops, he loses everything.
“God, what did you do to me?”
That same thundering voice says "Shneider, this is the big city, you need to upgrade your image, call it Lord and Taylor"
The rest, as they say, is history.
From: Moshe Kugel
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a
street in Mexico City. One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David. Many people go by and
From: Marsha Silverman
The Top 10 Signs You Work In Marketing
10. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways
A marketing consultant employed by KFC gained an audience with the Pope, and offered him a million dollars if he would change ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused the offer.
"I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!”
From: Ray Williams
People have asked me for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I’m fantastic in bed!" — That’s Spam.
From: Rose Sacks
A man was out driving, when he came across a flock of sheep. He got out of his car, and walked over to the shepherd tending the sheep. He asked,
"Are you a betting man?"
"Why do you ask?", said the shepherd.
"I’ll bet you $20, to one of your sheep, that I can guess the size of your flock.", he said.
"You’re on", said the shepherd, "How many sheep have I got?"
"367", came the answer.
"That’s amazing," exclaimed the shepherd, "You’re absolutely right! go and pick yourself a sheep."
Having claimed his prize, the man was walking away, when the shepherd called out to him.
"How about another bet- double or nothing.", he challenged.
"What’s the bet?", said the man.
"I’ll bet you that I can tell your occupation, and who you work for."
"That’s a bet." said the man. "What do I do?"
"You’re a marketing consultant, and you work for the government.", said the shepherd.
"That’s amazing," said the man. "How did you figure that out?"
The shepherd smiled. "Put down my dog, and I’ll tell you."
From: Jim Wright
Look at this hysterical television commercial from Denmark Click here!
Q. How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
From: Sue Montgomery
Who’d believe chewing gum could be so dangerous?! Click here!
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